It's hard to believe that a bunch of months back I actually made a point here of praising The Wonder Years' lyrics. After getting all "juiced up" (gross) on the idea of finally giving the mainstream's streamlining of pop-punk another chance, I made the grave error of giving their 3 LPs a few listens. All I can surmise now is that "Came Out Swinging" is not only the anomaly of their catalog, but one the size of a galaxy. I mean, if you can overlook that line about being "this generation's Morgan Spurlock", I'd even go as far as to say that they're pretty poignant and relatable. But then, holy shit lol, there's literally everything else the band's ever written. I'm finding it really, really funny that I threw a bunch of olde schoole pop-punkers under the bus in favor of these guys, because currently, I can't think of a single band that sounds MORE like a pop-punk/white middle class youth caricature. Seriously, if you can point me to a band that can out-whiny20somethingbetabro the lyrics of Dan "Soupy" Campbell, I'd be seriously mInDbLoWn to smithereens.
Look at this shit:
When I first heard this song, I was actually flummoxed (to use an hilarious word) enough to immediately look up the lyrics. "Surely there's gotta be more irony here than I'm hearing?" But there wasn't. There was less. And look, I get it - growing up white, middle class, and culturally alienated and community-free often leads kids to aggrandizing their perceived differences, their zAnY sense of humor, and self-mythologizing as tragic heroes. I should know since I was the weeniest weeny at 14-18. But you know, there's a point where the whole "earnest, GENUINE, 'nice guy' who can't get a break vs. literally everyone in the world who's too shallow/2 MAINSTREEM/too (insert any given excuse)/not deep enuff" perspective is sort of embarrassing and you NEED to start calling yourself out and healing instead. Specifically, before you find yourself in your mid 20's and having written a zillion whiny songs about how special your sadness is."My Last Semester" from The UpsidesI'm not sad anymore, I'm just tired of this place.
The weight of the world be okay if it would pick a shoulder to lean on
So I could stand up straight.
I'm not sad anymore, I'm just tired of this place.
The homophobic bullshit that's somehow okay
Just because you didn't mean it that way.
I can't take anymore of all the scum in this place.
Shitty dudes with tribal tattoos all around,
Lining up cheap beer and roofies for a party at their place.
Trying to convince freshmen they're somebody
By spending all of their parents' money on kegstands
And Matt says I don't fit in.
All this mallrat goth shit is killing me.
Thought that would end with high school at least.
But there are still kids and Matt says
"College hit those dudes like a ton of bricks."
So they're calling it blasphemy,
A fucking catastrophe
For saying it's a stupid choice to make.
But this place just brings misery.
I hate what it does to me.
I fight, but I can't escape the way that I don't fit in with any of this.
And I don't think we're the same.
I'm fucking losing my head trying to understand this.
Kids outside with guitars hoping for someone to notice.
No one wants to hear your sappy bullshit.
All these fake-tan girls laughing at art school kids
Getting lots in return for being substance-less.
You're too caught in semantics to see it,
But you're no fucking different.
So they're calling it blasphemy,
A fucking catastrophe
For saying it's a stupid choice to make.
But this place just brings misery.
I hate what it does to me.
I fight, but I can't escape the way that I don't fit in with any of this.
And I don't think we're the same.
No.
I'm not sad anymore, I'm just waiting.
It's two more months 'til I'm done with this.
And I don't make sense to anyone but my best friends.
And I don't fit in anywhere but the back of the van.
I realize between this and the Off With Their Heads post I've been kinda ragging on sad dudes purty hard, but come the fuck on - the "weight of the world" quip regarding the PRIVILEGE OF PURSUING HIGHER EDUCATION and the High School hierarchy criticism is some truly sheltered, obnoxious laughfodder.
In case you were wondering,I thought the heat I was feeling was radiating off vocalist guy's intensely pained and smoldering butt, somehow scorched on the master tapes like the shroud of Turin, but then I realized it was the warmth of witnessing a truly fierce, revolutionary individual who isn't afraid to not like/do things.
I'm twenty three and avoiding the bar scene,
Lycra pants, and designer jeans.
In case you were wondering,
I'm staying in.
I won't smell like cheap perfume or cigarettes tonight.
And every word that I said got drowned out
by a dance remix of a pop song I don't care about.
In case you forgot how bad I've been down,
just ask around 'cause you know this town loves to run its mouth.
I don’t have roses in the closet
But I’ve got pictures in a drawer
It’s everything left in me
Not to stare at them anymore.
I walked upstairs and shaved my beard.
I felt like I was holding sadness here
(I was holding sadness here)Sadbeard of the seas that "rly mean something". I guess this is the frowny beta male version of the women's post-break up haircut stereotype?
So yeah, maybe I'm just being mean 'cause I used to be this kinda narcissistic 2 U NEEK individual, and the self-loathing is in temporal retrograde, but there will be time for written apologies to no one later on.
I was about to write something like "I really can't think of any other band whose lyrics distract me from enjoying the music as much as this" but then I remembered Mixtapes is still a band:
I don't think this song really requires any attempts at witty commentary, but Jesus and The Christ Tones is "I haven't changed at all which is something that I'm proud of" a line to cringe it up with.
NEXT TIME: Content.
