Best Of Pop Punk: installment the first

The coalescence of 'music nerd' and 'pop-punker' is kind of unheard of. If you go online, it'll take you like 20 seconds to find auditoriums full of armchair historians and beard stroking preservation societies, specializing in everything from hard rock to free jazz to early electronic music and far flung antiquarian bullshit. I hear the world sing it's ambivalence like a Gregorian choir, but unfortunately, a lot of people are born male, and this birth right insures deafness to the pleas of tolerance. Also, insufferable acquiescence of boring information. But not about pop-punk? I mean, I get it - it's like, sad teenager music - but then how do you explain people who edit Metal Archives for a living? It's not exactly a sea of starter homes and 401Ks down there. Here's a fun thing you can try, as I'm trying to make this a more interactive reading experience:
1.) go on ebay for a long time
2.) buy a vtg oop rare xxl Lividity longsleeve
3.) have a salary above 4 figures
But I dunno the people do need to access the release date of Ulcerous Phlegm's International Problem's EP, so excuse my provocateur nature; it's why I'm considered "the George Carlin of comedic insight". Music nerds are another unloved pillar of this wonderful thing we call civilization, and should be celebrated as such. Just like people who assemble cardboard boxes or refurbish Tamagotchis. The point is this: I will be the stone of knowledge that dams the river of ignorance. I am the hero pop-punk deserves, but not the one it needs right now (paraphrase appears c/o Marvel).
But here it is right now anyway:

I initially wrote this long ass list for rateyourmusic like a real winner would but now it's time to pass on the bounty. See, I have very particular taste in art of pop punk, and now you can be privy to this mine of insight. Without further ado, let's "pick it up" lol wait no

30.) Rivethead - Cheap Wine Of Youth EP (2002)

Let's kick this off with a relative obscurity. At their core, Rivethead were another band adept in the Screeching Weasel arts; they were clearly a branch growing out of Ben and co's grove, replete with start-stop hooks and layered vocal interplay. What really set them apart, though, was their lyrics and delivery. The distortion's caked on, the vocals are guttural, and the lyrics are from the perspective of a bunch of train hopping crusties. Every song on here's great, but check out "Past Days" and "48 Double Stack" for a taster.
Oh, and a 48 double stack's a type of intermodal train car with a luxurious porch to hide inside, if that gives you an indication of why I relate. I'm really alternative and interesting.

Other recommendations: City Sound Number Five EP (2001)

29.) Discount - Half Fiction LP (1999)

If it wasn't for the interbutts, I'd have never fucking known that Discount's Alison Mosshart is one and the same as the dull garage neophyte in The Kills. "VV", I think. I mean, I get it - she was like 16 at Discount's conception - but oof, the amount of personality she displayed here's never been rivaled in her present projects. 
This album is flawless. A beautiful mix of joyous melody, sadness, and hooks out the ass. This isn't the amateurish take on old Cometbus bands that Ataxia was, it's much more developed in it's simplicity. It sounds just as fresh as when I first heard it in 2005, and tracks like "Am I Missing Something?", "Stitch", and the amazing "The Usual Bad" are contenders for my personal favorite pop-punk songs ever. 

Other recommendations: Crash Diagnostic (2001), Singles Collection 1 + 2 (2002)

28.) Leatherface - Mush LP (1991)

This is an obvious one, but holy shit is this an amazing album. It's also likely the sole album on here that'd hold appeal for people outside the fandom of pop-punk (or even punk in general), with incredible melodic guitarwork, legitimately gruff vocals, "adult"-leaning lyricism, and incredible songwriting. I feel like it's kinda important to know that the original release is only 12 tracks, with "Dead Industrial Atmosphere" holding the banner of 'best closing song ever' for me, but the tack-ons are great as well (even the "Message In A Bottle" cover!).

"There's still so many things left to see
Little drop in the middle of the big sea of high and mighty things
Your fascination for larger than life your brand new appetite
And there's springtime in my mind and I'd rather be alive
As though we'd invented it and we danced
It could have been the longest time and I'll remember it
You don't know what's in store when we laugh"

Other recommendations: Fill Your Boots (1990), Minx (1993), More Mush (bootleg 2012)

27.) Martha - Courting Strong LP (2014)

This is the kind of band I always look for and never find. On a cursory listen, it came across as cloying and painfully British, but the more chances I gave it, the more it unfolded below the saccharine surface. The songwriting here is way beyond the ken of your typical three chord pop-punk band, with lots of interesting songstructures and "experimentation". I hate using that word, especially in this context, but for me this band hits that perfect level: they never go into the obtuse or weird, keeping a foot firmly planted in the genre, but exude so much confidence and skill that it sounds extremely fresh and new. I haven't heard a pop-punk album this addictive and interesting since I first got into the genre a zillion years ago. Seriously.

Other recommendations: Blisters In The Pit Of My Heart (2016)

26.) Crusades - Perhaps You Deliver This Judgement With Greater Fear Than I Receive It LP (2013)

I fucking love the idea of taking pop-punk into bizarre tangents like this. If you can imagine a combo of the darker, mid-period Samiam songs with Davey Havok sparring off with a hardcore vocalist, then layer it with black metal lyrical concerns and the occasional tremolo riff, that's basically what they sound like. It seems sorta ridiculous in description, but it never feels Frankenstein'd, and this album carries a sort of 'thematic epic' feel bolstered both by the songwriting and lyrical focus on Giordana Bruno's struggles. If you're interested in a unique, dark take on the genre, this album is excellent.

Other recommendations: The Sun Is Down And The Night Is Riding In (2011), This Is A Sickness And Sickness Will End (2017)

25.) American Steel - s/t LP (1997)

I've already written about this album 10 jillion times, so yeah, I'm kinda fried on talking it up. If you want the full rundown on this and the follow up (Rogue's March), looky here.
If not, HEAR THIS: American Steel's debut is a much, much different entity than everything that followed, so much so that they were completely unrecognizable by LP 3. Imagine a hyperspeed, incredibly skilled and hook-ridden mash up of Crimpshrine, Operation Ivy, and Grimple and you've got this album. It's gritty, fast, tight, and packed with super memorable choruses and riffs. Easily the most underrated American Steel LP, and one of the most underrated punk albums, period. Don't let the rare bits of ska guitar put you off - this album is dark, and there's more ideas on this album than most similar acts' entire discographies.

Other recommendations: Rogue's March (1999), Jagged Thoughts (2001)

24.) Off With Their Heads - Hospitals EP (2006)

This is by far the best thing OWTH ever did. There's not a great deal of stylistic evolution from this point on, with the one notable shift since being a serious decline in irony. See, the lyrics this band employs are some of the most blunt, self-loathing, horrifyingly depressive shit I've ever heard, but at least on Hospitals, the music itself is poppy enough to undermine the darkness of the lyrics. You could argue the ease of putting out 15 minutes of solid material, but really, if the band built a full length off this by padding it with a few re-recordings from their split days, I think it'd be rated a classic.

Check out "Your Child Is Dead" and "Jackie Lee" for a taster.

Other recommendations: All Things Move Towards Their End compilation (2007), From The Bottom (2008)

23.) RVIVR - The Beauty Between LP (2013)

I'd been following RVIVR since the break-up of Latterman, but honestly never thought much of them 'til this album dropped. I mean, yeah, they had some great songs, especially on the Dirty Water EP, but this was the first time I was floored by an entire release. This album has this grandiose, conceptual feel without ever seeming blatantly so. I suppose similar could be said of the s/t, but holy shit, the songwriting on here is leagues beyond. On top of that, the production is so bright and full, augmented with tasteful keyboard and horn arrangements and fuck, the energy is intense and varied. This is one of those benchmark albums I could see people listening to a decade down the line. If you like pop-punk at all, you need this.

Other recommendations: Dirty Water (2010), Bicker And Breathe (2014)

22.) Chinese Telephones - s/t LP (2007)

To be honest, this is typically not the kinda pop-punk I'm into: that garage-y, lo-fi, Marked Men style stuff with fuzzy vocals. Fortunately, this - the sole album of Milwaukee's Chinese Telephones - is packed with great songs that elevate it beyond the aesthetic choices. There's a ton of energy and great hooks here, and they're one of those bands who sounds tailor-made for live shows, which is great since they broke up like 8 years ago or some shit.

Other recommendations: Democracy compilation (2009)

21.) Lemuria - The Distance Is So Big LP (2013)

Maybe it's kinda stupid to pick the least 'pop-punk' release this band did for a specifically pop-punk centric list, but hey, fuck you, this is free content. I first heard Lemuria back in '06 when my long lost friend put the demo song "Trivial Greek Mythology" on a mixtape for me. I thought it was gruesomely cute, and went back up my ass with the Steve Albini bands and whatnot. Like RVIVR, I always 'liked' Lemuria, but aside the material on The First Collection, I figured they were a band who kinda dulled as they grew older, culminating with Pebble, the only release of their's I actively DISliked. Surprisingly, this album is incredible. The songs bounce between cheery, colorful pop and brooding angst, with all previous strengths capitalized: the weird time signatures, clever lyrics, and huge hooks to the fore. Sure, it's kinda cutesy, but there's something too self-aware and smart here to write them off.
Check out "Paint The Youth", "Brilliant Dancer", and "Ruby" for a sampler

Other recommendations: The First Collection (2007), Get Better (2008)

HA HA OKAY NOW THAT's sorry I'm screaming that's enough for today! Join us next time on the History Channel for the second installment! It's funny because it's technically more "historical" than Ice Road Truckers or whatever. 

Joyce Manor's "okay" now

Today was a real humdinger. Here are a few things it was not like:
1.) Finding that love has been right before your eyes all along
2.) It being like dawn just after it was darkest
3.) getting a warm letter from a distant friend
3.) a day that doesn't involve going into shock for 10 hours
Finding my housemate deceased before breakfast may offer some creedence, but we'll let the panel of experts make that call. A wise man might suggest withholding such grievances on a format this unseemly. That man has likely not scrubbed stale blood off a wall while subduing abject horror. You'd think the medical examiner or a couple EMTs - people whose JOB entails desensitization to corpses and viscera could bust out some windex and fix that up, but you'd be wrong.
One thing's for certain, though: I didn't really like the last Joyce Manor album.
Then there's this:

I mean, not this, per se, but if you can imagine this song being played without a headless mannequin in blue jeans, then yeah, this. But let's real talk, you and me. Have a beer. We're all men here, burying our fear of mortality with innebriants: I'm not really feeling this new track. And yeah, it could be because it's boring, but see, in the past - the halcyon days, if you will - this wouldn't have mattered. No, because I championed the dix out of Joyce Manor, and with that comradery comes faith and integrity. Roll out a 12 minute LP after two full years? Aw yea bby tease me! Repackage two dumbed down versions of previously released tracks? Shit yes brother let's take this journey in a different light. A couple years ago I would've given this stupid 82 second track like six billion listens until it's constricted my teenage heart with vines of passion. But that was a different time, and since 2014's fantastic Never Hungover Again, the band's aged, and with that came a startling decline into placidity. Namely the drummer, who plays everything all normal now.

Cody - like every recording prior - shows commitment to growth, showcasing a band who's disinterest in pandering borders on contempt. Maybe that's a bit hyperbolic, but what I always expected out of Joyce Manor was change - all in accordance with the principle that I'd personally enjoy it, though. Cody shows the band slowing down, polishing their edge and getting a Brazilian on the stubbly bits. Genitalia. But that's what I liked about the band - there was always something a little manic and angsty in there, even as they  moved away from the rawness of their early EPs and debut.

When "Fake ID" hit I felt every one of the 16-26 muscles in my face strain to smile. "O-okay it's a little... a little different. That line about Kanye West is pretty embarrassing but... it's not bad!". But it was. "Fake ID" is easily the most nauseatingly happy and flat out, uh, 'stupid' sounding song the band's ever recorded, and this is AFTER they covered "Video Killed The Radio Star". A cover that eats up 2 minutes of a 5 second long album! WTF LOL. And yeah, it gets better from there, seeing as that stevia enema kicks things off, but not by much. Apparently "Stairs" is one of the first songs Barry ever wrote, and it's not hard to believe. I have no idea why they thought it was worth re-recording over a decade after the fact, but it's their longest to date, and startlingly boring for a band that tends to work best in the eyebrow arching territory. Similarly, "Do You Really Want To Not Get Better?" is a little mopey acoustic blob with no hook. Remember "Drainage" and "I'm Always Tired"? Same idea but, like, I mean they literally added it at the last second to make the tracklisting a nice even ten. That inspires confidence.

All that said, I actually really like "Make Me Dumb", and "Over Before It Began", which might be my favorite 'ballad-y' song they've ever done. The rest is okay, I guess. I dunno. "Angel In The Snow" would've fit nicely on Never Hungover Again, but honestly, I just don't feel any emotional connection to most of the tracks here. Nothing really brings the goosebumps or the bends (except "Fake ID", I mean). It's all kinda just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. 

I had to copy and paste that. I don't do MSDOS.

Y'know something? I didn't want to see that; someone I knew in a frozen gnarl, sprawled horizontally across a cot in a room teeming with 40s and neglect. I didn't want to have that image churning and morphing in my brain like some animate carving. I never knew them well, so I can't feign loss, but the emotions that are teeming up from bearing witness to it are something I'd never wish on anyone. That's it, I guess - the drab conclusion to all the times I entertained suicide: to be cold furniture in a still room. And it's people's fucking job to ride that wave of nausea every single day, never letting it crest because the backlash would put them out of work.

But yeah, not so into that album.

ITS THAT TIME OF YEAR

I think every post from the past 2 years contains a disclosure about 'coming out of retirement' so this one won't. Unless you count the last sentence. But no, don't do that, no. Let us progress together, you and I. Into the cosmic future.

As your number one source of extraneous Waxahatchee criticism, I felt a familiar tingle in my toes with the announcement of the band's 4th full length, Out In The Storm. "Finally!", I thought, replacing the moth balls around my notarized official p.s. eliot attire, "Another opportunity to convince myself I still enjoy Katie's artistic output!". But ultimately - like the thrill of assuming a new 'alternative' identity - the veneer wears thin and I'm left with a pile of XXL Tommy Hilfiger tees and fitted Expire snapbacks - discarded for cardigans and acoustic guitar.

I really don't want to explain this for the million billionth time, but let's say you like boring. I'm here for you. Thus, blah blah blah, I was fangirl #1 for everything Katie Crutchfield ever wrote but then Cerulean Salt came along and slipped me a mickey. To clarify, that album is boring and sucks, and the allusion stops at me passing out from that. There's no nefarious aftermath to offend you. I held out for Ivy Tripp, but again, I found myself unconscious and wrapped around a streetlight whenever I played it. See, the 90's weren't very good. And, sure, I'm wrong, but the point is: I'd be happy to never hear a band reference lukewarm tap water like Liz Phair, that dog., Veruca Salt, or Last Splash-era Breeders ever again. Thus, my disdain for Waxahatchee, post-American Weekend.

So when I heard there was another album happening, I knew I had to hear it but kinda in that 'need to go to jury duty' way. Fortunately, I found this tidbit off the Merge Records page:

"At Agnello’s suggestion, the group recorded most of the music live to enhance their unity in a way that gives the album a fuller sound compared to past releases, resulting in one of Waxahatchee’s most guitar-driven releases to date."

"Color me intrigued", I didn't think to myself, though I actually was pretty intrigued. A main issue of mine with the last two albums was the sterility of the instrumental performance. Cerulean Salt was waaay more guilty of this, but they both carried this tepid, k-hole'd studio musician feel that had so little personality, it literally sucked personality out of your body like a collapsed star. I'm being really fucking obnoxious, but bear with me, it may stop soon.

"Silver" sounds surprisingly good. It's the first track released, and Katie's pretty double tracked vocals carry a melody that sounds seriously like something an old shoegaze band would write. I could honestly do without all the 'oooh oooh' stuff, and feel like the track would benefit from less clutter, but the riffs are intriguing, and most surprisingly, the lyrics are SO COMPREHENSIBLE TO THE LAYMAN. I mean, look at this:

If I turn to stone
The whole world keeps turning
I went out in the storm
And I'm never returning

Where's the word "ostentatious"? Or "proclivity" pronounced really weirdly? I've always loved Katie's lyrics, but these seem so bold in their relative accessibility.

This is getting way too long, but to wrap it up: I'm surprised. I actually really like this new song. I'm not expecting an emotional pummeling on the heels of American Weekend anymore, but I'd be thrilled to connect with Katie's music again. Let the leaking begin.